These days you can find a church on every corner.
In fact sometimes two churches on one street.
So does this mean that we have become more a spirit loving, church going nation? Or is it that it’s just that easy to “start your own church.”
The late Ron L. Hubbard of the Scientology church once said:
If you’re going to make money in today’s world, you have to start a church. #megachurches…
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Church is big business today. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a “fire” church, or whether it conforms to a more “acceptable” format. It’s all still big business.
I have to admit that as a nation we are desperate for God, in whatever forms he may take, and this has made us vulnerable to the pull that todays churches offer. Instant healings, business’s blooming, phones being credited with airtime.
I fear though that this new church that makes God out to be a slot machine, could be detrimental to the health of our nation. We are no longer simply giving our tithes and offerings as we have always done, but now we have to pledge thousands of Pula in order to get our blessing.
Test God and see if he will not provide.
Of course if he does not provide, it is always because ‘you’ have very little faith. So you press in deeper, its obviously something you didn’t do right, you should give more… and so the cycle continues, and the Pastors are laughing all the way to the bank, in their Lamborghinis of course.
Congregation Alert: Learn How To Cast Out Demons
You see this everywhere. Desperate people who are not encouraged to read the Word for themselves but follow blindly whatever they are told.
And they do it without question in the fear that they might not get their blessings. Suspicious of every one around them, even that sweet little old lady who lives next door, because as you know; “ke baloi”.
But don’t worry next week Friday we are having a special service.
We will be casting out demons and putting those witches in glass bottles where they belong. Of course because it is a special service we will be having an honored guest, coming from a holier place, who will also need to be given his own “collection”.
Yes, after we have tithed and given our offering, the baskets will go round again, so that we can bless this honored guest of ours, for blessing us with his “anointed” hands.
Yes, it’s going to be a great service, I must remember to take a picture of my estranged son with me, he definitely has demons that need to be cast out.
And so the cycle continues, and the honored guest pastor is seen laughing all the way to the bank in his shiny new Porsche of course.
Why It Doesn’t Matter How Anionted You Are
Evidently the honored guest pastor’s hands weren’t that anointed after all. That little old lady is still burning who knows what in the middle of the night. And that son of mine, “eish,” he still needs deliverance. Can you believe he never calls or even sends money…to his own mother; “ba moloile”.
But its ok, if I can only find P5000 then I can go straight to the mecca of churches, where the father of all pastors resides.
Now he is anointed, he is powerful. I see how when he touches lame people, they walk, the blind see, the chosen ones are given briefcases filled with American Dollars, yes this the one. I just need to get there and all my problems will be gone. I will become rich, all my wishes will come true. Yes.
The bus ride wasn’t so bad; although I don’t know if the father of all pastors will be able to see me from all the way back here. It’s ok though, I’m here, I made it, my life will never be the same.
They are sharing testimonies; someone gave the father of all pastors over P100 000 another P250 000, wow! They are so blessed now, their business’s are blooming, their marriages are wonderful, their children are not only happy but getting good grades.
What can I give? I don’t have much. Wait, my pension. I can give my pension. I’ll do it for my children, so that God may bless them with good sense and money.
Yes, the father of all pastors agrees, when you give in his church you will be extremely blessed, beyond your wildest dreams. He says this whilst laughing all the way to the bank, in his branded jet-black AugustaWestland helicopter of course.
The Other Reason People Are Starting Mega-Churches
Mega churches across the United States and Africa are becoming increasingly popular, not only bringing thousands of worshippers together, but also billions of dollars in profit.
From self-help books to CDs and DVDs and more recently “anointed” oils, water and perfumes, mega churches are becoming big money makers for the pastors and ministries they are a part of.
Mega churches are extra-large churches that can accommodate upwards of 15,000 people and are common among members of the evangelical Christian faith.
Scott Thumma, professor of sociology and religion at Hartford Seminary told CNN that “the mega church on average has about $6.5 million in income a year.”(Source)
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